Emison at the Kissing Rock
by Dontaskwho
Summary: The girls take a day trip to the lake. Alison is queen bitch, but leads an innocent Emily to test out her skills at the kissing rock. Heavy Emison. Featuring: Alison, Emily, Spencer and Aria. Includes Ian, Melissa, Hanna, Noel Kahn, and Lucas as minor characters.
1. Chapter 1

The girls and I were going to spend the day at the lake. It was mid-summer after our eighth grade year, and today was the day that everyone was going to spend soaking up the sun in the sand. Spencer had convinced Melissa to drive us; she had just graduated and everyone who was anyone in her class was meeting there too. I thought to myself: _Ian will be there._ I didn't even like him that much, but he was useful, and easy to control.

I could flip my hair and shake my hips and anyone would fall over themselves to serve me. I'm not talking just boys, girls too. Look at Emily: that girl is a disaster. It was so funny to me to see her blush and fidget any time I so much as playfully winked at her. The look on her face after I kissed her that one time was so priceless, I still laughed to myself years later just thinking about it.

I flipped my hair and twirled it up into a bun before I answered the door. Spencer was standing there, hands on hips, looking impatient as ever. Her eyes had dark circles under them, and the skin around them was red.

"At least you took your pills this morning." I said. Her jaw clenched hard. I loved getting her worked up. There was nothing she could do. If she fought back and made me mad she knew I could tell everyone her dirty little secret, but staying quiet was not in the Hastings' nature.

"Obviously you didn't." she tried.

"Ooh." I replied sarcastically. Melissa honked, breaking our duel for the time being. We hurried- Spencer hurried to the car- I don't hurry for anyone.

She got in the front next to her sister. When I opened the black SUV's door Hanna was already in the back as usual. She was so self-conscious about her weight that she rarely wanted to squish in the front next to anyone, but rather be alone in the back. I nodded at Aria and she crawled over the seat practically landing in Hanna's lap leaving me and Emily alone in that row.

Her hair was up and she had a towel over one shoulder. She was wearing a bikini top and shorts over the bottoms. So typical of her child-like style, she was wearing tennis shoes instead of flip flops like the rest of us.

"Are you going on a run or something Em?" I teased.

"No…I uh…" She stammered. I laughed in response.

"You're so cute." I loved watching her eyes dart around, begging for something to cling to. I loved watching the blood rush to her face as she tried to wrap her head around my flirting. Was I really flirting with her? Do I really think she's cute? Ha.

We pulled in to the lot and Melissa whipped around to face us.

"I don't want to hear any complaining about being tired. I am staying until I want to go home weather one of you is bleeding out or not. Don't bother me or ask me anything while we're here. Got it?" she waited for everyone to nod before she let us out.

We found a spot to set up umbrella's and lay out towels close enough to the water for me to see everyone but far enough away to stay dry. I watched as the people in my class kicked sand at each other and splashed around in the water. Sometimes I wanted to do that wild and free playful teenager thing, but that would ruin my reputation as too good for all the shit my peers did.

I noticed a ring of space left around us where we set up. I got sideways looks and hurried paces; nobody wanted to draw enough attention to themselves around me to be noticed. The "losers" especially kept their distance. Lucas, or Hermie, edged a good fifty feet away with the remote to his toy boat while the nerdy twin girls wasted no time taking their towels and laying them out elsewhere. I loved being feared, but it hurt a little too. Whatever. I had to entertain the girls. We would have a better time than any of those nerds.

"Look whose here," I said pointing to Melissa and Ian a little ways away toward the tree line, "it looks like Ian's taking her out to the kissing rock."

"What?" Emily said. Her face was plastered with naivety.

"The kissing rock. It's really just this big boulder, but when you go there, you're sure to make out with whoever you're with. The spirits of past lovers make it happen." I said in a voice like telling a bunch of little kids a scary story. She nodded, pondering the idea. "Who do you want to take there?" I asked pointedly. None of the other girls seemed to be paying much attention to our discussion, they were too distracted googling over Noel Kahn. If only they knew how unimpressive he really was. Emily blushed and let her eyes dart around. "I won't tell Ben if it isn't him. You can trust me." I prompted.

"I don't know really." She mumbled. I looked at the others with a sort of impatient look, communicating silently to Emily that we could talk about it elsewhere if she was afraid they would hear.

I got up and did my best "follow me" walk away from her. There was always the few moments where I was walking alone, not looking back at all, and then the hurried footsteps of the person that was trying so hard not to give in.

"Where are we going?" she asked. She was a little lost puppy. I could have told her I was leading her straight to hell and she would have followed.

"The kissing rock." I said plainly, as if I happened by there more times than not. I did happen by there more times than not to be honest.

"Alison I think the girls are watching us." She worried.

"So? Let them. Maybe they're just jealous because you're my favorite. They know I wouldn't ever take any of _them_ to the kissing rock." She smiled and nervously laughed under her breath.

By the time we got to the tree line, Melissa and Ian were headed back to the beach. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow like you give to a child who thinks that their cereal box toy is a blessing direct from god. I laced my fingers together with Emily's and watched his eyes go big. I gave him a little wink to let him know that since he was with Melissa he was going to miss out on some really hot action.

I felt her hand start to sweat a little, probably a bit of nerves mixed with the heat. I saw that Noel Kahn was starting to lead a girl back in the same direction we were going and I gave him a look that let him know the kissing rock was mine now. He fumbled for a lame excuse and they headed back. I bit my lip when I looked at Emily to get her going. This was going to be much more fun if she had huge knots in her stomach before we even sat down.

The rock looked like a trash heap. It was covered in spray paint, lop-sided, and surrounded by disgusting articles. Never-the-less I knew none of it mattered to her. The only thing she would be seeing right now was me, so I decided to put on the best show I could. I sat her down and threw one leg over her hips. She picked feverishly at her nails and refused to look up at me.

"So do you want to tell me who you're really crushing on now?"

"I like Ben. He's nice."

"But you aren't into him. We both know that. So who is she?" I made sure she heard the emphasis I put on the "she". I had been teasing her forever about her raging lesbianism.

"What do you mean? I don't like girls…"

"Don't lie to me Emily Fields. You and I both know you swing for the other team, so just embrace it and tell me. Is it Spencer? Aria? Don't tell me it's Hanna."

"No."

"Well come on." She sat silently with her head down. Break them down, and build them back up. "Em, you can tell me anything. I'm your best friend right? I love you for who you are." I wiggled my hips on hers a little bit more to speed things up a little. I took down her hair and played with it, pieces and strands twirled around my fingers. I could see the bumps rising on her arms. "Em…" I cooed.

"I wouldn't mind being here with you…you know, if we were here like normal people were, not just to talk about stuff…"

"You wouldn't _mind_?" I pushed. I could feel that we were almost right where I wanted.

"I'd like it..."

"Yeah?" I acted surprised. "Me too." I whispered. Her eyes shot up at that, searching for any sign that I was lying.

My index and second finger found their way under her chin and lifted her head up to the perfect angle. I had lots of practice with this particular move. My other hand found its way to rest on the rock to support myself, dangerously close to her behind. Her eyes were rolling back in her head with pleasure and I knew I had won, like I always did. No matter how much they resisted the temptation, I always got what I wanted.

I took her bottom lip and sucked on it gently, then found my way into her mouth. It was warm and soft. This time wasn't like in the library, this time was on my terms. I was in control. She melted under me; for me. The finger that were under her chin slowly scratched all the way down her neck and rested right between her breasts. Her bikini top allowed for easy access.

This wasn't the first time I had been with a girl, so none of it was new and explorable territory for me. Her, on the other hand, I knew for a fact was the exact opposite. She froze under my touch. Her mouth, so slow to move with mine before, quit entirely now. All of her muscles tensed under me. I could feel that I was her puppet master now.

I let my tongue slip under her top lip and she shivered. My fingers went farther down from her chest. I toyed with the strings of her running shorts that she had earlier refused to remove. I put one finger, two, and three, under the elastic and felt the top of the bikini bottoms. Her breath, previously halted, sucked in sharply.

"What?" I asked innocently. Fake innocently. I knew exactly what I was doing to her.

"Nothing." She shook her head violently, obviously afraid I wouldn't continue.

"Are you scared?" I asked. I lifted my hands from her and I could almost hear the moan. The desperate, don't leave me, moan.

"No." she hurried.

"Are you lying?"

"No. I promise. I'm okay, really." She pleaded. I smiled wickedly at her.

"Then kiss me bitch." I grabbed her hair and pulled her mouth into mine. I loved the taste of her. I loved the way it felt to be totally and utterly in control of her. She was the piano, and I knew exactly which keys to hit.

My hands found their way to the small of her back as our lips tangled. I could feel her getting more confident as she felt she could somehow hide behind my ferocity. I felt in circles, then around to her stomach. One hand went up and one hand went down. I didn't bother going under any clothes this time. I was in a rush to feel all of her.

Her back arched as she tried to move into me. She couldn't get close enough. Her mouth became uncoordinated as she focused more on body movements. Amateur.

"Feel me." I whispered as sexy as I could. Now that she had caught up to me feeling her, it was time to make her nervous again. She stuttered out a few attempts at a rebuttal but in the end I grasped both of her hands and placed them where they needed to be: one on my ass and one on my boob. "You have to do something other than just sit there." I prodded. Her hands clumsily explored this new ground, trying to figure out the right moves. I could tell she was embarrassed.

I let out a few moans of encouragement to keep her going, and I resumed my touches. I honestly enjoyed feeling her up. I enjoyed kissing her too. I would never admit that what I did with Emily was more than just practice, or pity. I'm not sure that I'll ever figure out what it really was to me, but one thing is for sure: the more we did it, the better she got.

Damn. That Emily Fields is _so_ sexy in the sheets.


	2. Chapter 2

I was exahusted after school. I always was, but today more than usual. There was just so much stuff that had to be done, and i had no idea how i was going to get it all done. As soon as i got in the door i felt like i had to return to school for all the homework i had. I reluctantly shuffled off to my room, leaving my backpack on the floor when i fell into bed. I closed my eyes and the sweet burn of it tried to glue my eyelids together. It took all of my willpower to get up and open the first book.

The footsteps didnt register with me at first. They are so natural, especially since i know exactaly how they sound from my room. I didnt want to break focus for anything, especially something as usual as someone passing my room. But they didnt.

She came in slowly. Her bag was in one hand, while the other was crossed and grasping her other arm. She was staring at the floor, and her dusty white converse. She stood in the doorframe facing me and i watched and waited. Impatienty. I had not told her to come over today, so i didnt know why she was interrupting me. Could she not see i was busy?

"Yes?" I prompted. She didnt reply or even look up. The only thing she did in response was scratch the back of her neck. "Today Emily, Im busy." She sighed heavily and dropped her bag. She shut the door and approached my bed. It was my first thought to move my books for her, but decided not to move at all until she started talking. Thats why i was surprised to see her close all of my unmarked books and notes and pile them herself. She was so different.

"Ali, i really cant do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"This...thing. Whatever you want to call it, i cant do it." I have to say, i was shocked. She was the last person i would have suspected to turn down any attention from me.

"What? Our practices?" I asked, innocently. I was giving her the chance to take it back, and give in to my eyes.

"Thats what the problem..."

"What?"

"I just..." She muttered, "I just dont want to keep coming over whenever _you_ want to be your practice."

I couldnt decide if i was more proud of her for standing up for herself, or angry for trying to turn me down.

"Look, i didnt ask you to come over today, Emily. You did this one yourself."

"Im not here for that Ali! I...I came to tell you that i wont come again." She turned for the door, and in one sly motion i moved my books to the floor and pushed the door closed from behind her.

"Oh, you will cum again. And again. And again, and until i say you wont. You know why?" She remained silent,"Ask me why, Emily. Ask me." She didnt speak. I took my right hand off the door and pushed it into the front of her pants. She stiffened, and lost balance, with a sharp breath. "Ask me why." I whispered into her neck as i pulled back her hair.

"Why?" She shuddered. There it is. The sound in her voice. I knew she felt it. The high, like a drug, that she couldnt leave no matter how hard she tried.

"Because i _own_ you." And i rubbed sharply against her wet clit. She almost screamed and my hand flew to cover her mouth. I turned her around to face me, her back against the door. I clicked the lock and looked into her eyes, daring her to try and deny it. She hummed under my palm.

Before this could please her too much, i took both of my hands away from her body. I licked the fingers that had been in her pants, knowing it would drive her crazy. I could see the fire in her eyes. "But go ahead and go." I said and turned around walking towards my bed.

When i sat, cross legged over the edge, she was still there. Eyes closed and back against the door, breathing ragged. She opened her eyes just a slit and looked at me out of the corner of them. I did an intentional bite of my fingers. She tiled her head backwards, losing control. There was no way she was going to just quit on me. I could hook up with anyone, but that would be too easy. I loved how she tried to deny herself every time we were together. It was a chase, a game that i always won.

"Em?" I whispered. She looked at me full on, "Come here, please." She had a weak spot for helping people. I had to seem desperate. It took her a few moments to sort out her head, but she did what i wanted.

"What?"

I took her hands and pulled her on top of me. "Do you really want to give this up?" I whispered in her ear. She shook her head hard. I knew she wouldnt last long once i gave her everything her little lesbian demon wanted. "Do you want me to fuck you hard?" She nodded harder, and her hips bucked slightly.

I flipped us over and pinned her arms above her head. I took a ribbon holding the curtians to the bedpost off. I tied her hands above her head on the headboard. I looked into her eyes.

"You are _mine_ now. I can do whatever i want to you. Isnt that right, Emily? I can do whatever i want to you?" She nodded. It was so hot to see her tied to my bed like this. I hadnt ever done it before, but i loved the idea of being totally dominate over someone else.

I undid her pants, eager to taste her. I kissed her wetness and she panted, hips pushing hard towards me but i was to going to let her have it that easy after what she had come here to try. "Do you want me to stop practicing now, Em?" I teased, hanging so close but just out of reach.

"No, Ali, please. Please dont do this. Im so sorry, please. Im sorry."

"You arent yet, but you will be."

Her face was a sexy mix of pain, desperation, and satisfaction. She wanted me so much more than she didnt. I was so glad that she did, too, because if she quit coming over, i wouldnt get to make her cum like this again.

I pinched her clit between my fingers and felt it twitch as she wiggled desperately. I flicked my tongue over it quickly and released, sitting up. She looked like she could cry, and i smiled wickedly.

"Oh, sweetie, youre gonna have to beg real hard before i let you cum."

Nothing made me hotter than making Emily cum, but she needed more entertainment. At least i was good at theatrics. I had to keep her entertained. If only she knew just how desperate i was too.

If only she knew what kind of power she had over me.


	3. Chapter 3

Its not that I regret any of it, sometimes I just wonder if I really did myself any favors. Its funny, you know? I started out knowing myself. I really did.

God, she was so beautiful. She glowed; the moon followed her silks, trailing her as she twirled. The grass was wet and cold and sharp, but it reminded me that I was alive, and this was life.

I had learned my lesson. I knew where I needed work, places that I never would have known before, and if nothing else I had that right? I was satisfied? She made it so hard for me. I found out how much I can take before I cant take anymore.

Did I love her, though? No. Yes. Never.

But its always been. And she slipped like butter, through the grass and into my heart. The chior of insects below danced into our ears. I needed her more than air. We went some place without it.

Our toes used the stars as stepping stones, and the moon was among them, and there was sat. We touched our toes into the Earths oceans like they were puddles. She could make them that. She could make anything anything. She really was a big deal.

The moon dust and asteroids were our sheets as we slept.

What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to go home and pretend like it hadnt happened? This was new. It was about her, and what she wanted. I knew that now, but I had known it all along, really.

The sun greeted her face like God himself singing her to me. But it was back to the routine, the agreement. I had to honor that. I had made it.

But had I not earned this? Her?

Had I been working all this time for her?

She saw me through the lense of the morning dew fogging the air. I was nervous.

It was a long walk home. Had I ended up as far as I could from the start? It was hard to do anything with her so close to me. I wondered if I could control myself, and for how long.

She went to the left and I went right, and it was like nothing had happened. And we fell back into the same pattern as before, the entire thing had begun like rewinding a tape. I may as well not have wasted the energy.

She was not a waste.

* * *

I woke up covered in sweat. I felt uneasy. It was one of those dreams where you cant really remember any of it but you know it was from deep somewhere. Whatever it was, I knew I wasnt ready.

Then it washed over me and I remembered again.


	4. Chapter 4

23 hours and 53 minutes after I untied Emily from my bed I was still staring at my phone, waiting for it to ring. I was still worrying about whether she was serious when she said she wouldn't come when I called anymore. I was still wondering if my dream was from my perspective or hers.

Since when did I let anyone have this much power over my emotions?

23 hours and 58 minutes after I untied Emily from my bed I was starting to panic. One day had been the rule-the universal rule. If she goes one whole day without calling me, then she won't call me. That's the hardest time not to contact someone after any major event, and if she can make it through that, it will be so much easier to just…not.

I had dangled myself right in front of her all day at school, and I could almost see her mouth water, but she had made no comment. I had whispered the days gossip in her ear just a little closer than normal, a trick I had learned in our sessions, but she giggled and passed it on just like the others. I had done everything I could to ensure I had kept her attention, but had I?

24 hours after I had untied Emily from my bed I knew I had lost my mind.

I paced around my room. What was the plan? I weighed calling her, decided not to. I dialed her number while I gave myself a speech about why it was okay for me to make the move, closed it. I rationalized that maybe she was in her room doing the same thing right now, and grabbed my coat, put it down. I screamed and tried not to let the tears overcome me.

Who was she to do this to me? Who was she to weasel her way into my life and use me like this? No. No no no. This is not how my game is played. This is not in the rules.

But I can make an exception, right? Because she is the best that there is.

What am I doing? Who in the hell is this? Its not me, that's for sure. This dyke bitch Emily is making me into someone I'm not.

Right?

I sighed and rolled into bed. My hands slid through the sheets, grabbing them for support through the waves of sadness, and more…angry through peaks of rage. I had never felt like this before. It was like I was taking sides against myself and both of them were winning.

It was hard to admit, but the rumors are true. There are different kinds of connections with people, and in spite of emotions and history, physicality is the most binding. I mean, it isn't like I cared about Emily like that, though. We had slept together for months and I knew how much that meant to her, but I refused to believe that I was emotionally tethered to her, so here I landed. It was so hard to release my apparent attachment to her because we had slept together.

I knew she was in love with me, and the past few months had meant to world to poor Emily, but that was not me. I was not gay. I was not in love with her. All of that vulnerable puppy stuff was just because of our friendship having benefits, and how I couldn't ever stop picturing her perfect body every time I saw her in class, or at lunch, or at her locker…

I was worried because I had let her see me and touch me and I had given up that part of myself, and it was no longer private from her. That was it. That was the reason.

I couldn't decide if I was reasoning with, or convincing myself. I put myself to sleep in no time at all trying to figure it all out. I had fitted myself into a knot or blankets in my indecisiveness. My face was slightly tear-stained and my hair was pointing in every direction as proof to my exhaustion.

28 hours and 41 minutes after I untied Emily from my bed, I was woken up by the sharp rasp of knuckles to wood.


	5. Chapter 5

"Dinner is done, honey. Why don't you come down and eat?" My mother stood in the door that Emily had stood in. I pulled my sweaty head up and the dimming light of the sun pierced into my pupils.

"Alright." I sighed. When my mom left, I sat in the silence of the room. It was so contrasted to the day before. A jolt of unreasonable optimism ran through me when I saw my phones notification light flash. Of course when I checked it, there was no message from Emily, just Spencer wanting her copy of "The Grapes of Wrath" back.

Through the entire meal, I would think of some reason to click my phone on to check my texts for anything. Twice my mother gave me that look that made my "go away" glare seem inviting. Finally, I tucked it under my thigh, picked up my fork and pushed food from one side of the plate to the other.

I could just see her trying to make a statement with this little game. I knew Emily, and after the sex we had yesterday, I knew she was sitting on her hands to keep from texting me. I'm sure she was pacing in her room to resist it. The only reason I kept looking for a message from her was to reel her in again; to make her think I was actually into her, or cared.

The sound of a phone vibrating when squished between a wooden chair and a leg is both unmistakable and unbearable. Everyone at the table, including me, jumped a little when the noise rang out. I was so shaken that when I went to grab it, I dropped it right onto the floor. I reached so fast to pick it up that my face flushed, and when I flipped my head back up, it bumped on the bottom of the table. I turned on the screen, and sure enough the text that was waiting was from Emily. I looked up from it to see both of my parents with raised eyebrows and frowns.

"Sorry." I said, shortly, and got up to read what Emily had sent on the front porch.

 _Can I come over for a second?_

I quickly replied with a "sure" and sat thinking about this victory. Of course I was right, that she couldn't resist, I was always right.

She pulled up slowly, her headlights caressing over my porch and then me, and finally flicking off. She got out slowly, with her keys bunched in her fist. She had on a baby blue scarf, and she was biting her lip. She scratched the back of her neck as she walked around the front of her car and to the stairs. She was nervous.

"Hey." I said. I was sitting on the porch swing with my ankles crossed and hands in lap. She must not have realized that I was there, because when I spoke she jumped. I moved to get up and meet her halfway, but thought better of it. Making them meet you all the way draws them in closer. I could let her know that she would always come to me.

"Hey, Ali." She half-whispered.

"We were eating dinner, but I was done anyway. They are being so irritating, talking about Jason and his stupid rehab camp. If only they knew what I did." I said as she came slowly up the stairs.

"What do you know?" She said, interested, obviously.

"What do I know?" I gestured to myself dramatically, and motioned for her to sit next to me on the swing, "I know everything." I raised one eyebrow and smiled crookedly and she believed me. I could tell her I just got back from a walk to the moon and she would have believed it, because she wanted to believe me. She wasn't like the others, who just took what I said and rolled their eyes and shook their heads. She wanted to listen to me and see me succeed. She wanted to believe everything I said.

She sat down and we swung, my toes nudging the swing back and forth. I was looking at the stars, like I couldn't be less interested in her or them either way. She had her hands clasped together, and was wringing them. Usually I don't mind silence, especially if it was because someone was nervous about me, but I was really curious about what had brought her here. Call it that physical connection, but for some reason I felt differently about Emily in every aspect. I loved teasing her, but I didn't want to put her in a situation that caused her any real pain.

"What's up, Em?" I said, still looking ahead. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her looking right at the side of my face, but I did not give her that attention, creating a void that I would then fill.

She kept looking at me and whispered: "I think I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

We sat silent on my porch for a long time. Inside, my parents and my brother were eating dinner, cleaning plates, or watching TV. The September air was colder than usual and I shivered, shaking the swing lightly. Emily immeadiately moved to scoot closer to me, but stopped herself, returning her gaze somewhere far away. To my surprise she wasnt crying, or nervous. She was just quiet. She was just waiting for me to figure out how to respond.

Those five stages we learned about in psychology were no joke. Bargining, anger, denial...I forget the other one, but it was taking me a particularly long time to find the acceptance stage.

Hadnt I know this all along, though? Isnt this exactaly why I had spent the last two years teasing her? Did she just expect that I would say that I loved her too and that we would run off in spite of the world and live happily ever after?

"I dont know what Im supposed to say." I said, probably for the first time in my life, and I meant it.

"You dont have to say anything you dont mean, I just had to say it to make it real." She said in a cool tone that matched her body language.

I nodded. As terrible as it sounded, I didnt want to keep on hooking up with her if thats what she wanted. I didnt want to feed that fire and make her think it was mutual. That feeling was not mutual. I did not think that way about her. I didnt enjoy sex like she did. I didnt get lost watching her walk and talk and eat and smile. I didnt. I couldnt.

Before I could stop it, tears poured from my eyes. Fuck.

"Im going to go inside now." I said. I stood and tried to wipe my eyes before she noticed, but she reacted too fast.

"No dont." She said, and grabbed my hand. Her eyes looked up at me, shining against the moon, and she was so beautiful. No. Stop it.

"I dont want you the way you want me, Emily!" I jerked my hand away. My voice shook and so did my body. She sat stunned for a moment and so did I, the two of us just looking at each other.

"I guess I just dont believe you."

"You do not get to decide how I feel or what I want." I snapped.

"Then what do you want, Ali?" She stood so close to my face I could feel her breath when she spoke, "Do you want this?" She grabbed both of my wrists and backed me against my house. She pinned my arms above my head and looked into my eyes with the ferocity of a hunting lion. "Do you want me to push you up against the wall hard and kiss you and make you feel weak? Because I will."

I felt helpless under her hard body holding mine down. I felt angry that when I resisted she pushed harder and I realized that she really was the stronger one, and if she wanted, she could tie _me_ down to the bed and there would be nothing I could do about it.

"No." I whimpered.

She let go of me immediately and quit pressing me against the wall, but instead, leaned on me as if for support. The sobs I had been expecting finally came, and she gripped my shoulders. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might beat out of my chest. My hands stayed where she left them and my eyes were wide.

It finally dawned on me that while Emily was physically stronger, I was the emotional rock. I could hold my shit together, but she was the prowess of the muscle. All this time I felt I had the advantage over her in the bedroom, but really it was her letting me have it.

It was her job to make me feel mentally superior, stronger, so that when she broke down like this, I would be ready. My hands twisted around her thin body and felt the softness of her t-shirt at the small of her back. She was so warm. I could feel the tenseness in her muscles, but also her vulnerability. It was astounding.

Until that moment, I did not realize how much of herself Emily had given to me.


	7. Chapter 7

There had been an awkward space of late. We had done the same Friday night movies with the girls, and lunch at school, but a gray area lingered. I didn't have anything to say to her, and I guess she didn't have anything to say to me either. I dreamed about her almost every night, and I found myself having fake conversations with her in the shower. Sometimes I was telling her off, and sometimes I was begging for forgiveness.

It wasn't like I was trying to make a problem like this. I hated losing that control I had over Emily. It was like she quit caring.

What really confused me, though, was the unreasonable happiness that came over her randomly. She got that look that usually only I could give her, staring at her phone, and her tan skin blushing. As obvious as it was, it took me almost a week to realize that she was talking to someone. _Talking_ talking.

It wasn't like I was jealous, I just had to know who it was. Then I could tease her about it and that gray space might go away. I'd go back to the throne and all would be as it should be.

I watched, quietly, the next day at lunch. It seemed like about halfway through her phone would sound, and that smile would creep back. I waited for the opportunity.

Just as I thought, the beep made her scramble, and smile, and blush. She typed a quick response trying to be casual, but failing.

"Who is _that?_ " Aria asked. Emily tried not to smile, but did it anyway, staring at the table.

"Nobody." She said.

"Oh come one Em. Don't lie. Spill. I want _all_ the dirty details." Hanna prompted.

Without even looking at me, she told the girls that she had been talking to Pigskin Paige, and that she thought they may be official soon. My heart was beating out of my chest. Just like Hanna wanted, she did spill the "dirty details" but it was like I wasn't even there. I couldn't even tell you where I was looking or what my typically perfectly managed facial expression fell to. The only thing I could hear was all those beeps from Paige. All I could see was her smile, her joy and excitement, at the prospect of someone.

They talked like that for the rest of lunch, in the bathroom, and as soon as we all met up to walk home after school. I hadn't said a word to a single person the entire time, the swirl of confusion clouding all of my senses. Before I even knew it, everyone had split at the usual spot, and I was left alone with Emily. This was the first time in weeks, since the night on the porch, that we had been alone. She seemed to pick up her pace, and it took me a few seconds to pull myself out of the haze I was in to keep up.

Of all the showers I had taken, I still couldn't come up with anything to say. I didn't know if I was angry, or hurt, or, dare I say, jealous. She didn't even look back over her shoulder when we reached her house and she started up the stairs. I was left, the echoing sound of her front door closing, standing in her front yard, trying not to cry, or maybe trying to figure out what had just happened.

* * *

I sat in the window under the light glow of the moon. There was a weight on me. I wanted to crawl in bed and feel the comfort of my sheets, but I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I sat staring at nothing, thinking of nothing. Why was this bothering me so much? I finally had the perfect material, she was into Pigskin. That should have been enough fuel to last indefinitely, but it seemed like it only drained me of whatever energy I had left.

I knew I needed to establish that I was not weak to her. I had to be the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most empowered, but the next morning I sat staring at my reflection without moving before putting my hair up, only a little mascara, and a pair of jeans to go with my old t-shirt. I usually wouldn't even go to bed looking that terrible.

I got to school and glimpsed my reflection on the window of an old Honda, jumping at what I saw. My eyes were dark and my hair was frizzy. I looked like I had on painting clothes. I shook my head. No. I would not go in there like this and show her, or anyone, that I was weak, or that anything she did would effect me at all. Nobody gets to have that over me.

I got back in my car and drove to the Brew. I got my normal drink, with an extra shot of espresso, and sat on my normal couch. A boy at the counter was glancing at me. He was cute. Dark hair, tan skin, tall. He had on a Rosewood Sharks shirt from a few years ago, so he was an older boy, and a swimmer too. I felt self-conscious about my disheveled appearance.

He looked like he was about to come over and say hi when the barista touched his hand and batted her eyes, and it was like he had totally forgotten that he had been looking at me like that only a few moments ago. I was angry and I didn't try to hide it. I grimaced and sipped my coffee and looked away from where he was standing.

There was a bulletin board next to the couch that was usually full of flyers 12 year old had made for babysitting, lost dogs, and the library, none of which would ever hold my attention, except for now. I glanced over the ones that had been there forever, poor Sparky had been missing for years, and read the newer ones without much thought. I got halfway through one the high school had posted before I even realized what it was.

Tomorrow night there was a swim meet at 6 o'clock. They were inviting the whole town, trying to get everyone to wear school colors because the opponent was the rivals of Rosewood. There would be a feature of a few swimmers who were destined for full rides to any college they wanted. I heard the bell on the door chime, and the boy was gone.

It occurred to me that I never wanted him to talk to me anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

I stood in front of my mirror all day, changing my mind about going with every outfit I tried on. That one was too orange, I shouldn't go. Yellow is totally my color, I'm too hot to stay home. Back and forth and back and forth.

I took a break from my inner turmoil for lunch. I was home alone and I sat in the quiet kitchen listening to the sounds of my house. I saw the piano where Cece and I had played chopsticks, and the couch Jason always crashed on when he came home drunk. It was like I was looking back in time when things were so much simpler, but also so much harder. There was so much going on last year, it was an emotional strain on me.

Just thinking about it made me lose my appetite.

Once I had decided on an outfit, I texted the girls to see who was going to be at the meet. Hanna was planning on going, and when Spencer and Aria heard I was, they decided to join.

We met in front of the school at 5:30 that night, and entered giggling in our select clique. We were the envy of the night with our clothes, our friendship, and our lure. I shoo'ed away Hermie from the front row of bleachers. I didn't want to get stuck in the sweaty mass of bodies, unable to see, in the middle of the bleachers.

It seemed that the meet would go on forever. There were "heats" and then races inside each "heat". I was getting bored, tired, and antsy, beginning to regret my impulsive decision to come. Why was I there anyway? Did I want to see Emily that bad?

I sat for another heat, waiting. We chattered about juvenile things, and oogled over Aria's new nail polish color.

"What was it called again?" Hanna asked.

"It was "home sweet home"." Aria responded.

"It's so cu-"

"Up next: heat 4, varsity girls freestyle!" The announcer said over the speakers.

That was Emily. There she was. Lane 2. God she was so cute in that swim cap. I should wave.

She saw us and smiled, not waving back but a smile was still something. She climbed up on the block and bent over. The air horn blew and they all dove in. They went back and forth and back and forth. The endurance those girls had was undeniable.

Of course Emily won first place, and shone like a star when she was featured. I couldn't wait to go and congratulate her and hug her and make her love me again, when the announcer called another name for the feature…Pigskin.

It was like all the walls came falling down. There was a swirl of anger, embarrassment, jealousy, and outright sickness. I wanted to cry. I would have if I was alone.

My falter lasted only a second, the girls looked to me as if for permission to applaud her. I made a superior look towards her and began sarcastically clapping my hands. They followed suit. I kept my face for the rest of the ceremony, and acted normal as the meet ended. We went outside and said our goodbyes. I started walking to my house, but didn't get far before I found myself turned around and headed for the locker room as if not by my own accord.

The pool still made the air thick and warm with humidity. There were just a few parents of freshman waiting or their kids lingering and making small talk. I hurried by them, my shoes making small splashes in the puddles. I stopped at the locker room door, wondering if I was allowed in while the team was still there, but didn't think long before entering anyway.

There was steam from the showers and echoing laughing off the concrete wall. A few girls I recognized were at their lockers and when they saw me coming they turned around. I kept my arms crossed while I looked for Emily, making it obvious I was not interested in any conversation.

I finally spotted her standing in front of her locker with the door open. She had on Sharks sweatpants and a sports bra, showing off her flat stomach. I took a step closer and she closed her locker revealing that on the other side, she was talking to Pigskin.

She laughed and bit her lip and slid her shirt on slowly. My mouth opened a little, but I snapped it shut. I wanted to hit her in her ugly little face, but I didn't know if I could find the strength. She saw me while I was still trying to figure it out. Her eyes darted to the floor and she visibly shut down. Emily stopped mid-sentence, and turned around. She saw me standing there, who knows how I looked, and her mouth pushed into a hard line.

We looked at each other for a long time. People started to stare and stop their conversations.

I went to speak but she cut me off. "Go home Ali."


	9. Chapter 9

_Go home Ali. Go home Ali._

 _Go home Ali._

 _Go home…_

I woke up in a cold sweat, her words still reverberating in my skull. I felt like I was falling; like I was drunk. Everything had a blur around the edges until I got a grip on myself.

I didn't even try to get out of bed. The sheets and the blanket were too warm, they were used to my body and I couldn't bring myself to leave that comfort. I didn't hold many thoughts, or even think about the dream. I just laid. The shadows moved as the sun rose, and my room went from gray to yellow with light.

Eventually I absolutely had to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, and decided to get a snack while I was up. The outside world seemed to lose its appeal. I had no desire to ever leave my house again. It was all too complicated out there.

I didn't know why I was so indifferent all of the sudden. I pushed the thought of it being because of Emily form my head. Nobody, especially her, could have that much control over my emotions. My grades were okay, and nobody was competing at all for the queen bee position I held firm to. Even my parents seemed to be too busy to give me a hard time about anything.

I couldn't find an excuse that was reasonable, or realistic. I kept coming back to the moment in the locker room, where she was so happy and focused on Paige. It all seemed to go in slow motion, my mind trying to take its time torturing me with the details. The crease in her forehead, with that scar from when we were thirteen becoming pronounced. Her eyes seeming angry- no, more than that- disappointed to see me. Like I had just ruined her night with my presence.

I had no idea how long I sat at the kitchen table, staring off into nothing, replaying the whole scene over and over again, desperately looking for any silver lining. By the time I came out of it my tea was cold. The shadows had shifted at least a foot across the floor. I left the cup where it was and dragged myself back upstairs to my room, across the floor, and back into bed.

Under the covers was the only place that seemed to make any sense anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

I slept very little that night. It seemed that since I had spent all day resting, my body was tired of being tired. At first the lack of sleep, of escape, was annoying, but it soon turned into a terrifying silence that brought forth every thought I had tried all day not to have. I pushed back against them, but the night, and the silence of the crickets outside my window, pushed back harder. I had nowhere to run anymore.

In my mind she was hard against my body. We were on the porch and her closeness was not uncomfortable anymore. I was warm with her. The smallness of her body but the largeness at the same time. She was holding me, whispering in my ear that she loved me and I liked it. I wanted to hear her lips curl around my name again and forever.

Her hands knew what they were doing, they were stronger than mine, and they were hungry for me…almost as hungry as mine were for her. I wanted to taste the skin on her neck again; I would have killed for it.

We were in bed, all those times I got her in bed, I convinced her that I was pitying her, but I took those times for granted. I couldn't have that again now. The way she looked at me in the locker room made that crystal. But oh _God_ , what I would give to see her body shaking and her back arching for me again. It was like the rest of my life could be put on hold if only for that sensation one more time.

She was killing me slowly. Was this her revenge for my manipulation? This pain now? What I had put her though could not possibly compare to this-this longing and aching and confusion and emotion dominating me. Dominating…she was good at that too, and surprisingly enough I was good at submission. Another thing I learned from Emily Fields.

I begged for a sound, a pang of hunger, anything that would take my thoughts way from this torture, but nothing came. I was dreadfully fated to encounter all of these…whatever they were, without distraction, and without delay.

The night seemed to drag on forever. One moment I was lost in a fantasy of Emily, and the next under a cloud of fire from my conscious. When I thought I couldn't take another second of it, I rolled over to check my clock, and it was only 2 a.m.

I groaned into my pillow. Then banged my head a few times.

I got an idea. An irrational, careless, totally-unlike-myself idea.

The night air was cold, much colder than I had anticipated. I could see my breath in little puffs. I jammed my hands under my arms as I walked and shivered. At least her house was only a few blocks away.

When I arrived, all of the lights were off of course. It was the middle of the night. I couldn't just expect I would show up and find that she was awake too, thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her. How stupid. But I didn't leave. Not right away. I looked at her house, and as desperate as it might seem, I was jealous of it. I was jealous that she came home to it every day, and that it got to hold her every night, and that she called it home, breathing gently inside its walls.

I wasn't very cold anymore. I sat on the curb and I looked and I cried like I hadn't let myself very in a very long time. I must have looked awful, in the clothes I had layed around in all day, with an old jacket, crying my makeup-less eyes out on the street in the middle of the night, but I couldn't have cared less either. It didn't matter what anyone would think if they saw me.

I got up, maybe giving up, and headed for home. But I didn't go home. I wasn't ready to go back to that place of self-loathing. I wasn't ready for the quiet onslaught of my own thoughts. I came to the corner where I would turn left for my house and right for the woods, and chose the latter. Walking around the dark woods at night in the cold alone? Good.

I thought I was walking aimlessly, but soon enough found myself in the last place I would have wanted to be: the kissing rock. It was the place where this whole thing had begun. Had I not taken her back here to tease her and taunt her, we never would have started hooking up, and I never would have lost a friend. And that is exactly what Emily was to me. A friend. A good friend. A friend I wanted to kiss all the time. And that was normal.

I stood at a distance from it, not wanting to really admit what I had done here. I hated myself. There were rocks around on the ground and I picked one up and felt the weight of it in my hand. It was solid and cold and consistent. I threw it as hard and as far as I could and it felt good. I picked up one after another, losing more and more breathe with each throw, but in spite of it, I started to scream with them too.

With one final howl, my screams turned into more sobs. I had no idea why I was crying so much, and I honestly didn't want to even know. I had had to address enough of my subconscious that night, and I didn't care for any more. I stopped looking and sobbing and caring at all. I just stood and felt cold and watched my breath even out in the thin air.

I stood in the tree line so far back that I didn't see the person sitting on the other side of the rock on the ground. I had no idea at all they were there, listening to me snivel, until they shifted their legs and I heard the leaves rustle.

She came around from the other side of it, she looked colder than I felt, and she was so beautiful.


	11. Chapter 11

We looked at each other for a long time. I didn't know what to say and I suppose she didn't either. Tears were running down my face silently. It was like I had to work up the nerves to speak. I ran through one apology after another in my head. I thought about begging, or flirting, or just running away.

"Emily can we talk?" I sniveled. The night was dark and silent. It was like everything else was paused. There were no distractions.

She shrugged, "We have to at some point." I took a step towards her, "But you need to stay over there." She said and crossed her arms, not in anger, more like she was holding herself up. I stopped, as she wanted, and put up my hands in surrender.

"Em…" I cooed. I was desperate. This was my last chance; like the Gods were looking down and giving me a one-time-only offer.

"Don't try to sit there and talk your way out of this Alison." I put my head down. Anything I had to say would be devalued because of how I had acted in the past. I had broken promises to her and lied and manipulated and she had no reason to trust me. I could feel that she didn't.

"Then you talk. I want to know what you're thinking…what I can do to make this better." She looked a little surprised to have the ball thrown to her. She took a moment to collect her thoughts.

"I…Ali you have no idea…" I waited, "You are strong and confident. You know who you are. You're like…all put together. You have no idea what it's like to just…not."

"What do you mean?" she pressed her palms to the sides of her head.

"I mean you knew who I was before I even did and you played with it for your own entertainment. I mean that you knew I wasn't gonna resist and you took advantage of that, but at the same time wouldn't let me branch off and find anyone who would actually love me back. It's like you had me under your thumb for all these years and used me and now you expect me to just come back and trust you again." She was getting hysterical. But she wasn't wrong. And the worst part was that I knew it, that she was right, and it hurt me that she had seen through me and that she would probably never give me the benefit of the doubt again.

"I don't expect you to believe anything I say."

At that moment I realized that this was probably the real and true end of our relationship, and something physically snapped inside of me. I could feel it as real as my own pulse. My throat clenched and my eyes blurred. I knew she was saying something but I couldn't register anything except the pain. A wail was building its way up me and it was out before I could say no. I didn't care that she or anyone could see me like that, I was a black hole, and there was nothing but the giant, life sucking pit inside of me.

I crumbled to my hands and knees, screaming sobs wrecking me. My arms gave out a second later. I couldn't have gotten up if my life depended on it. Everything was shut off. My forehead was pressed to the frosted ground, arms tucked under me, my knees getting wet through my jeans. My voice quit, I was shaking and crying a river with only desperate gasps coming out.

I felt a hand on my back, but I didn't want to get up even if it was her touching me. I didn't deserve her. I couldn't even open my swollen, bawling eyes. I had no idea how much Emily meant to me, and how badly I had ruined things between us. I could never have a sleepover with her again. I could never whisper gossip in her ear and make her giggle. I could never watch B-movies and eat pizza with her again, and I didn't deserve to either.

I don't deserve anything.

I don't deserve anyone.

"Alison…" I could hear that she was crying too, but I still couldn't even bring myself to look up. Her hand stroked in circles on my back, and it kept doing so as my body wore out. I almost passed out I was so exhausted.

She whispered my name again, and I suddenly felt embarrassed for my breakdown. Since when was I allowed to lose myself like that? And she had seen it. Oh no, she had seen it.

I sniffed and collected myself before pushing back up onto my hands and knees. I kept my eyes closed and nodded my head and rolled into a sit. She followed and mirrored my criss-cross across from me. I finally got up the courage to open my eyes. She was looking at me in a way I had never seen her look before, and nobody had ever looked at me like it either. Her head tilted to the side and she raised an eyebrow.

I told myself I would just say it, on the count of three I would just say it and be done with it. After the scene I had just made, she couldn't think any worse of me, really. I would do it strong and firm, and deal with the disappointment alone and in calm.

She was waiting for me. I knew it. I couldn't say it. It wouldn't even mean anything to her, she wouldn't believe me. This whole thing was probably just an act to get her back through her eyes. I could deal with not getting the prime response, but I knew I couldn't handle bearing my soul and not being believed. I had never let anyone see the sides of me that she had and now here we were where I would never get to tell her it was all real.

One…

I took a big breath, and it shook in my throat. Just thinking about it made me walk a fine line between composure and insanity.

No. Two.

I was stronger than this.

Three.

Oh shit. I can't. There's no way.

But I have to.

But I can't.

But before I knew it, the words just came falling out, and I started falling apart with every word.

"Those kisses…they weren't practice, Emily. _None_ of it was."


	12. Chapter 12

She looked absolutely shocked.

"Why are you telling me this now?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I just thought you should know." I whispered.

She was quiet. She looked at the ground and her hand stopped rubbing my back. I was left alone with only my worst thoughts. She was angry with me for waiting so long to say anything, but I didn't even know it was the truth until I had uttered it aloud. Maybe she was disgusted with me for being so desperate, and for causing such a scene over something she had handled with such poise.

My lips felt chapped from wetness. I didn't know if I should wipe my face with my hand or shirt or at all, I just felt gross. She, on the other hand, of course, was perfect. Not a hair out of place. There was not a flaw that even I could find. She was like an angel, and she had no idea.

An unstoppable smile spread over my face. I was happy to see her, to be with her, to know her. Her eyes fluttered up at me, and there were tears in her eyes too. Without thinking, I lifted my thumb to wipe them away. She smiled.

"I'm so sorry. I know that can never make up for everything, but I am." I said. And I meant it. Her eyes searched me for any sign of deceit, and warmed when they found nothing.

I glanced down at her lips involuntarily.

"I believe you." She said. She placed her hand on my thigh, and her touch was electric. My already weak body shivered.

"Sorry…" I whispered.

"You don't have to be sorry forever."

Her hand became white hot on me. I had an insatiable thirst that only she could quench. But it had to be different now. She had to hold the reigns.

"Em…?"

"Yeah?" our eyes had stayed locked. I couldn't think or feel anything that wasn't her. It was like the movies and books had said; the butterflies and nerves and spinning.

But that meant admitting something I had tried for a very long time to ignore and justify. It meant admitting that I had feelings for her as more than a friend. I would have to accept that I wanted to touch her and be with her, which was something I had fought.

But it was true.

"Can I kiss you?" my eyes fell to her lips again, and found their way back up to meet hers, and she looked confused. "Please?"

In response, she leaned toward me. My eyes started to fall shut and I waited for the feel of her glorious lips, but she stopped half way.

"Yes."

I knew it was up to me now. I had to meet her. I had to make a deliberate act of attraction, and it would be the end of the me I knew.

I thought of how Emily and I had been before her confession, and after, and how we would be if I didn't move. My heart was pounding. I looked back with some nostalgia, but when I looked forward it was with hope. There was optimism for the first time in forever. Nothing could go wrong as long as there was an us.

When I imagined my future, we weren't friends. We were together. _Together_ together.

I leaned in slowly. I was shaking, and not because I was cold. I was far from cold. I was burning up. Her hand was still on my thigh, and it steadied me. It was like it had always been with us; she was my support in any way I needed it, and she always knew exactly the right way.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I touched her neck. I felt the heat of her, the pulse. Her life was so much more valuable than anything else in the world.

I hesitated. Was I worth enough to kiss her?

"Ali, kiss me." She whispered without opening her eyes, "Please. It's okay." Her hand found my neck, too, and pulled gently.

Our foreheads touched, and it was just as electric and anything else. I was almost afraid of the shock her lips were sure to give me.

Almost.

I could feel her breath on my lips, and it made it hard for me to breathe.

I tilted closer, and our noses touched. She nuzzled against my nose. We both smiled and made a short exhale laugh. I could smell her, and it was intoxicating. My mouth was watering at the very thought of her.

I could tell there were mere inches between our lips, but I felt like if I moved very much or very fast I would be rushing her, and she wouldn't want to kiss me anymore.

Her fingers on the back of my neck were branding me, and to make it worse, she pulled harder.

"Alison…" the way she moaned my name drove me crazy. I couldn't wait anymore. I had to taste those lips. I had to feel the way she moved.

Our lips touched and held for a moment, hers were cool. She kissed me softly and quickly once, twice, and then I reciprocated in a moment of insane courage. Our slick lips met and parted for one another. This was the point where I usually took over and found my way into her mouth, but I wanted nothing more in that moment than to give myself, and every part of myself, up to her. She could have any part of me that she wanted whenever she wanted it.

I was hers.

She tasted better than anything, she felt more amazing. My head was spinning, I could hardly keep up with her. My hand fell from her neck to shoulder where I grabbed a fist full of her shirt for support. Her hand shifted up to my hair, and the feeling gave me goose bumps. I had to pull back and find a way to breathe again.

To my surprise, she was out of breath too. We didn't separate totally. Her fingers were still tangled in my hair and I still needed to hold on to her, and we pressed our foreheads together again. I felt as if I lost contact with her that it would shatter me.

Eventually she started running her fingers along my scalp, and twirling my hair. I shook.

I opened my eyes to find her already looking at me, and I knew that she owned me. She owned me like I thought I had owned her, but deeper. She owned my body, but also my soul. I was not Alison anymore, I was _hers_.

"That should have been our first kiss." I whispered.

"Every time is like the first time to me." She replied.


	13. Chapter 13

It was dark, but getting light. I could still see my breath and hers in the air when we laughed and talked. I had never seen this part of Emily before, and I thought I had seen it all. She was passionate and vulnerable and open. She seemed to tell me anything she was thinking without questioning it.

With our backs against the kissing rock she told me about the emotional stress her Dad's job put on her, and I told her about the impending divorce my parents would obviously have. I told her how I was afraid, and she was too, and we talked about it like we couldn't even think to ourselves.

"My Mom is visiting him right now. I wish we didn't have school, or I could miss it or something. I never get to go with her. I feel so left out. He's in Texas not Iraq, he's in this country and I don't get to see him." My arm was wrapped around her shoulders as we talked.

The sun came up slowly, something I had never really thought about before. There was a time before people were even on this planet and the sun appeared and disappeared every day at the same speed, and now here I was, with Emily, watching.

She looked up at me. The angle that the sun hit her eyes made them catch an orange glimmer and her skin an irresistible aura. She smiled an innocent and pure smile. Her lips playfully kissed my shoulder and we shared a moment of childlike contentment. When I looked at her, we were 12 again, and I was trying so hard not to lose my cool in front of her.

I thought I should say something to her, but I couldn't think of the right words. After that perfect kiss, and the perfect view, I couldn't just keep taking about my feelings, or tell her she was pretty. If I said anything it had to be perfect and profound.

I knew that what I was thinking was too soon, and too cliché, but it was the most true thing I could think of. But was it perfect? It was definitely profound. I knew how those words effected people. I'd seen the movies. Somehow that just wasn't enough to stop the words from spilling out.

"I think I'm in love with you too."

 **Should this be the end? Leave a review of how you liked the story, ideas for future stories, or whatever else. Thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14

"I've spent so much time trying to convince myself that this is real. In what world would I get the princess? Every day I wake up next to you and I have to wonder why I got to live the fairytale. Why did I get to be with the person who was made to fit me exactaly? You forgave me, and loved me, and made something I could only dream of a reality. And to say I love you isnt enough. It doesnt even begin to cover it. But I want to spend the rest of my life trying to find the right words, trying to repay you for this fantasy world I can call reality. You are the greatest gift I ever got. And in return, I give you, and only you, all of me, forever." The paper trembled in my hands, and I was very aware of the noise it made when I refolded it, even though the crowd was oohing.

The preacher picked up her lines, all of the death do us parts and whatnot, but I was so unaware of it all. Emily was in front of me, holding both of my hands in hers, smiling so big she had to bite her lip to try to keep it contained, and she was smiling because of me. Because in some strange series of events, I had convinced this angel that I was good enough for her.

I said "I do" and then the preacher turned to her and repeated the same lines as she did to me. Emily never looked away from my eyes. There was a moment where the preacher stopped talking, waiting for Emilys promise, where I could feel a sheen of sweat break out on the back of my neck because I was sure that she had finally come to her senses.

"I do." She proclaimed. She said it to me, and only me, and then it was my turn to try to contain an overpowering smile. I was bouncing on my toes in anticipation to kiss her. There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss those lips that had said those words. I wanted to be one with my missing peice finally and for all. I was practically falling into her. Everyone else only felt a few moments go by, but to me, it was as if the preacher had intentionally stalled her words just to hurt me.

"You may kiss the bride."

That was my cue to get my kiss, but I was way ahead of it. I was supposed to be the masculine one, but the way I wrapped my arms around her neck and popped a heel up made the roles reverse. I could feel her smile when I kissed her lips, and her hands found my waist, pulling me in too. It was our first kiss as a married couple, and I still almost cumbled under her touch. I was still falling for the way she rolled with the punches, and how when I wanted to be the 'jump on you kisser' I could, and when I wanted to be the 'tie you to the bed dominant' I could. I knew I would never stop falling for her.

Our souls were always dancing, in perfect harmony, never missing a step.

The crowd behind us was clapping, and the pianist struck up a tune, and that was supposed to be when we parted and ran down the isle and got rice thrown at us and drove off into the sunset, and as much as I was looking forward to the honeymoon, this kiss was just as satisfying. I didnt love her for her body, or for sex, or because she loved me. I loved her because of the way any touch of hers set me on fire, and because kissing her dove me just as crazy as sleeping with her.

I loved her because she always kept me on track. Before the kiss could get too long she pulled away, holding my face in her hands.

"We have all night for that." She said.

We ran down the isle, and everyone threw rice at us, and we hopped in our getaway car and drove off into the sunset. We sat in the back seat, the driver having rolled up the partition for privacy, and we were inseperable. Our lips tangled together and my body was buzzing. She was mine. She was all mine. She chose me.

She was straddling me even though we were both in dresses, pressing me into the leather seats hard with passion. I couldnt have been close enough to her unless we were two souls sharing one body. Every touch sent an electric tide of stomach flipping childlike excitement through me.

She stopped and pulled back, looking me in the eyes. "Do you think this will everget old? Kissing? Like one day it wont be so magic?"

I almost laughed. "Every time feels like the first time to me."

The End.


End file.
